Infants and Young Children

Is the name “Saint Anne Episcopal Church” significant to a discussion of the place of Children in this parish?

Yes, in 1991, the congregation voted to use the name “Saint Anne” because of the connection she had with two children. She was the earthly grandmother of Jesus. She was the mother of Mary.

When we think of Saint Anne, we look first at her role as the mother of Mary. Anne played a critical part in Mary becoming the mother of our Lord. Anne brought Mary up in a way that enabled her to say “yes” to God when the time came. Anne must have taught Mary to pray, to listen for the voice of God, and to risk a “yes” when God called her.

We must be like Saint Anne for the children in our community of faith. Our baptismal promise is that we will do all in our power to support the children of our parish so that they may grow into the full stature of Christ. There are many ways that we do this.

How does Saint Anne involve herself in the faith development of the children?

From the time of a child’s birth, there is a place in the community for them. Beginning with the Thanksgiving for the birth (or adoption) of a child to the baptism, Saint Anne seeks to express that each soul, young or old, belongs to God. We also encourage parents to remember their children’s baptism through family celebrations and through the weekly blessing of anniversaries (baptism, confirmation, and wedding).

Through our Christian Education Program we hope to show our children that God is one we can come to know and love. We hope they will seek God because of what we teach them. We also hope they will come to find and be found by God because of the teachers who care for and teach them.

We help our children grow up into a faith through Children’s Chapel and the worship they carry out. This chapel service, while structured as the regular service, is clearly oriented to children (ages 3-8) through songs and prayers to which they can relate.

We seek to have our nursery (up to 4 years) be a place of safety and beauty. The nursery is staffed by at least two volunteer parishioners each Sunday, one adult and one of our senior high youth. We have a paging system using vibrators that the parents can carry into church. If there is a problem or a question, the nursery attendant can page the parent without leaving the nursery. The nursery is also equipped with live television feed of church services.

When can my child begin receiving Holy Communion?

If the child is baptized at Saint Anne, their first Holy Communion will be given at that time. Once baptized, a child may begin receiving Communion each week. However, it is the decision of the parents when a child begins receiving it regularly.

Some parents break off a piece of their bread and place it in their child’s mouth (some receive the wine, while others do not). Other parents may decide to wait until the child is older and asks for the Sacrament.

Some parents see a benefit in waiting until they are old enough to receive instruction. In this case, a child can be brought up to the communion rail for a blessing.

The clergy offer baptismal classes oriented to different age groups at least twice a year.

Do I have to place my child in the nursery or Children’s Chapel?

No, our regular Sunday services are also open to the children. We do not require parents to place their children in the nursery or Children’s Chapel but do hope that the parents will consider using these ministries for their children at some point.

Does the congregation have a responsibility to the children?

Yes, the responsibility each of us has is rooted in our baptismal vows. Our goal is to make all people, young and old, feel welcome. The congregation has been very open to children worshiping in “big church” in the past, and it is the plan that she continues to be so.

When the Apostles tried to keep children away from Jesus, He rejected their intent and commanded that the children be allowed to come to him. This important biblical and theological understanding of Jesus’ attitude toward children must be our model. Jesus did not reject anyone based on age.

There must be a level of acceptance of the natural noise children make. Some members are able to do this better than others can. As a community of faith, we need to remember that children make noise. To expect adult behavior from children is to deny the very nature of the young.

Saint Anne understands that it is an adjustment for parents who go from worshiping without children to worshiping with them. Parents are no longer able to fully concentrate on the service and sometimes (most of the time) it feels as though the whole service is one of shepherding rather than of prayer.We are part of a praying community and we hope to raise our children in a praying community. We want the children to feel at home at church and that they are a part of this community. This means that for some parents and on some Sundays there will be times when simply being present in the community of Faith is their act of prayer.

Is it true that parents are more aware of their children’s noises than most of the congregation?

For the most part that is true. It can be difficult to determine what is acceptable level of noise. Parents are sometimes more aware of the noise their children make than others are and are in conflict as to what to do.

What can I do to help make the service more enjoyable for my child and me?

Most children have a difficult time sitting for an hour (even if we do stand, kneel and sit). However, there are some things parents can do that can help to reduce the amount of boredom and noise made.

•Bring soft toys to play with (soft so that if they are dropped they do not make noise).

•Activity bags are available to help keep children ages 9 and under engaged during church services. They are hanging on the wall across from the chapel and in the Narthex. Crayons, pencils, clipboards, paper, lectionary based coloring sheets, Bible story books, and a soft animal are included in each bag. We do ask that parents be responsible for ensuring that their children only use the crayons on the furnished supplies and not the prayer books and hymnals. Parents should feel free to have their children use these activity bags during the service. Children are free to take home the pictures they have created, however we ask that parents please remind children that the books and soft animals should be returned to the bags after each use so that they will be available for the next child who uses the bag.

•When you are at home, practice whispering. This skill is helpful at Church, libraries, and other places when communication must occur.

•A bag of cereal, such as Cheerios, can tide them over until snacks during the coffee hour in the Parish Hall

•Bring a Children’s Bible so they see the connection between the Bible they read at home and the Church they attend on Sundays.

•Take them to the bathroom just before services begin. This is not a guarantee but it can help.

•Sometimes holding the child standing up (preferably in the back) is all the child needs to become quieter.

If your child needs to be taken out of the service for a couple of minutes, please do not think that your standing up and leaving will distract too much from the worship service. When you return, wait in the back until the congregation is standing or there is a transition from part of the service to the next.

Parents can also allow their toddlers to walk a little in the back, show infants the stained glass windows, quietly tell their children what we are doing in the service, or show them the place in the prayer book. Some parents spend time teaching their child some of the prayers and songs at home (this works best for the older children – but even young ones will start to recognize parts of the service).

Parents are probably often afraid of frustrating their toddlers because of the loud screams that might result. The congregation needs to be aware that when a parent is stopping a child from running or climbing that child is likely going to let out a big noise. Parents may need to be ready to take the child out at that point, but they need not be afraid to set the limits that produce the screams.

Truly, the most difficult time for most children is from about 18 months to 2 or 3 years of age when they have few internal controls, very little awareness or understanding of the different rules, and are sometimes very resistant to nursery care. Parents can take comfort in the knowledge that it will get better – if they are willing to work at it.